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Tuesday, 30 April 2019

Monthly Musing - April 2019 - Date morning

It’s not always easy when you’re rushing around at breakneck speed, but I do try my best to remember that life isn’t always about being in the fast lane but is also about taking the side roads.  I’ve noticed – and perhaps you have too – that there’s a tendency to think “I’ll sit down when I’ve done this” or “I’ll go and see so and so when I’ve got more time” but there’s always one more job to do and never enough time.  Sometimes it takes something big to jolt us out of our complacency that there’s always tomorrow – in my case, I went back to playing the piano after my Mum died having spent years thinking “I’ll have lessons again when I’ve got more time and spare cash”; there was never any more time or spare cash but there’s nothing like a death in the family to remind you that life really is very short and it’s OK to do things just for you from time to time. 

Over this last year, my husband and I have been trying to make sure that we spend more time together.  Being self-employed is wonderful on the one hand but on the other, it can be very hard to switch off and take time out.  Our working days are long and although we loved the idea of going out for date nights to spend time just being us again, the reality was that for a variety of reasons - late meetings, terrible traffic, babysitting issues, general exhaustion at the end of the day, didn’t fancy a meal out, too wet and windy to walk the dog, nothing on at the pictures we wanted to see – none of them insurmountable but all of them sufficient to make it feel more of a chore than we wanted and we just didn’t manage it.  Time ticked by.

And then we had the bright idea of date mornings.  We actually enjoy eating breakfast out more than dinner (although I’ll never say no to someone else cooking dinner!) and there was the added bonus of neither of us being likely to fall asleep in our food.  We’re not bringing along the baggage of the day and we’ve discovered that we’re much less likely to talk about work.  A bacon butty and a mug of tea at a roadside cafĂ© is as enjoyable as a meal indoors, and somehow, it’s as if our time is different too.  Rearranging our working days to incorporate an hour out for breakfast seems to give us far more time together than trying to go out for three hours in an evening.  How does that work?  It’s a kind of magic, I’m sure! 

Changing our ideas of a date night to a date morning has changed our perspective about fitting things in and making things happen – and still taking time out for ourselves.  It’s important, because one day we all inevitably reach the end of the fast lane and if we’ve never driven on any of the side roads, how much do we really know about ourselves and those we love?  No, it’s not always easy when you’re rushing around at breakneck speed, but every now and again it’s a good thing.  

Pass the marmalade, will you?


10 comments:

  1. This is so very true Christine. I can remember having a conversation with my son who was about to celebrate his 21st birthday. I can remember saying make the most of life because before you know it you wake up and you're 30 and life has been taken over by responsibilities and then before you know you'll be 40 and wondering where did the last 10 years go. At the time he laughed as youngsters do but now at 31 he is starting to think where did that last 10 years go... I haven't told him that from here on in that doesn't change. I recently changed my working week to be able to spend sometime with my D and with the little grandson but even then there can be weeks when that extra day off gets swallowed up by other things. This Friday I was looking forward to going for breakfast at the local garden centre and to look for plants but what will we be doing. I'll be waiting for the engineer to fix the tumble dryer and D will be taking two out of the three dogs to the vets for their annual heart scans and teeth check. We know how to party in our house...not.

    Mitzi x

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  2. Date morning is such a good idea :) I prefer coffee and cake though lol :) Joy

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  3. What a good idea. It's important to make time for our loved ones. As you say,the death of someone close makes you assess what's important. Spending time with our partner/children/parents/friends or just making time for ourselves has got to be more important than work or chores. Enjoy your bacon butties and cups of tea. To quote a famous advert - "You're worth it!" xxx

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  4. Loved reading this - J and I have started having a breakfast date every monday morning and I look forward to it so much! We have a little local cafe that we head to for poached eggs on toast and a couple of very good frothy coffees, French music playing and a delightfully calm and charming ambiance. Like you, this suits us so much better than an evening meal out and we make a huge effort to include it as an important part of our week xxx

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  5. A very good idea Christine. Marriage type books remind us to spend time together, as one day when the kids leave we'll be strangers. Sometimes my husband and I will go to the local pub for a meal at lunchtime. As lovely as it is to take the teens, they either don't talk or talk about stuff online eg film reviews, xbox games etc. Enjoy your breakfast, Cathy x

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  6. Hubby and I rarely go out in the evening either as it takes too much organising with the kids. We've been going on date days for a few years now and head off somewhere during school hours for a drive, an explore and we definitely stop for lunch out somewhere. It works much better for us too. Enjoy your date mornings. xx Susan

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  7. I think thats a brilliant idea....here's the marmalade!

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  8. A great idea and Brunch is good too if Breakfast is too early! Very popular around here in all the Garden Centres and local cafes. Lovely to take time out to spend time with the person you chose to spend your life with!

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  9. Yes! The other half and I also do this (much to the amusement of our grown up daughters). It's good to sort out our respective days over a coffee, plus we know when a quick text might brighten up an otherwise dull or busy day.

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  10. It's lovely to have time just the two of you isn't it.
    DH and I have been enjoying sitting in the garden with a proper cup of tea (tea leaf sort) and a little treat of an afternoon when he comes home on the recent warmer days. The old fashioned deckchairs are out and its fabulous to sit and listen to the birds and relax.

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