Monthly Musing – April 2019 – Date morning
It’s not always easy when you’re rushing around at breakneck speed, but I do try my best to remember that life isn’t always about being in the fast lane but is also about taking the side roads. I’ve noticed – and perhaps you have too – that there’s a tendency to think “I’ll sit down when I’ve done this” or “I’ll go and see so and so when I’ve got more time” but there’s always one more job to do and never enough time. Sometimes it takes something big to jolt us out of our complacency that there’s always tomorrow – in my case, I went back to playing the piano after my Mum died having spent years thinking “I’ll have lessons again when I’ve got more time and spare cash”; there was never any more time or spare cash but there’s nothing like a death in the family to remind you that life really is very short and it’s OK to do things just for you from time to time.
Over this last year, my husband and I have been trying to make sure that we spend more time together. Being self-employed is wonderful on the one hand but on the other, it can be very hard to switch off and take time out. Our working days are long and although we loved the idea of going out for date nights to spend time just being us again, the reality was that for a variety of reasons – late meetings, terrible traffic, babysitting issues, general exhaustion at the end of the day, didn’t fancy a meal out, too wet and windy to walk the dog, nothing on at the pictures we wanted to see – none of them insurmountable but all of them sufficient to make it feel more of a chore than we wanted and we just didn’t manage it. Time ticked by.
And then we had the bright idea of date mornings. We actually enjoy eating breakfast out more than dinner (although I’ll never say no to someone else cooking dinner!) and there was the added bonus of neither of us being likely to fall asleep in our food. We’re not bringing along the baggage of the day and we’ve discovered that we’re much less likely to talk about work. A bacon butty and a mug of tea at a roadside café is as enjoyable as a meal indoors, and somehow, it’s as if our time is different too. Rearranging our working days to incorporate an hour out for breakfast seems to give us far more time together than trying to go out for three hours in an evening. How does that work? It’s a kind of magic, I’m sure!
Changing our ideas of a date night to a date morning has changed our perspective about fitting things in and making things happen – and still taking time out for ourselves. It’s important, because one day we all inevitably reach the end of the fast lane and if we’ve never driven on any of the side roads, how much do we really know about ourselves and those we love? No, it’s not always easy when you’re rushing around at breakneck speed, but every now and again it’s a good thing.
Pass the marmalade, will you?