Monthly Musing – May 2018 – Tea for Two
you think I’d forgotten to make the tea?”
was a Sunday morning and I was in a shared hotel room with one of my best
friends. It had been a gloriously
indulgent weekend of chatting, eating and pleasing ourselves whilst our
respective families pretended they couldn’t cope without us (just for our
benefit, of course!). We had been taking
it in turns to get up to make the morning brew; this morning was my friend’s
turn and as she had disappeared to clean her teeth just as the kettle boiled, I
got out of bed to pour the water onto the tea bags.
I didn’t think you’d forgotten,” I replied.
“I was just saving you having to re-boil the kettle.”
it’s not that you think that I’m incapable of brewing up, then?”
could be offended by that.”
I stared at her. “What?” I’ve
known my friend for longer now than I’ve not known her. She is well-read, thoughtful, wise and
considerate. She is without question
someone I turn to when life gets a little rough and I am blessed to have her as
my friend. I would never dream of doing
anything that would upset her.
laughed. “Remember when we were talking
about not knowing what goes on in someone else’s head? Even with something as simple as making a cup
of tea, if you don’t say what’s on your mind then the other person will always
put their own interpretation on the events.
You might have been being kind and saving me a job, but I might have
thought that you didn’t think I made a very good cup of tea.”
been talking about those moments when you say something to someone and then
worry for hours afterwards that they were upset by what you’d said – even
though they’d never given it a thought.
Or that someone had looked at you in a particular way and you’d taken
offence when actually, they had something on their mind or something in their
eye. I try not to do that these days as
I am old enough now to know that the reality of that being the case is usually very slight, but I have wasted hours in needless worry in
my teenage years.
a family, we have for many years made a point of saying if we’re feeling sad or
grumpy as it’s too easy for those feelings to cause an argument if they’re not
expressed, but it hadn’t really occurred to me that explaining to someone why
you had done something would be helpful too.
After all, wasn’t it obvious that I had only filled the cups to save my
friend a job? Actually, no. So often I will tell my girls not to worry
about public speaking because no one knows what’s going on in your head – and
that’s exactly the point, isn’t it? No
one knows what’s going on in your head.
What troubles could we avoid if we just gave an explanation with our
actions sometimes? It certainly gave me
food for thought.
are you going to finish making the tea now you’ve started?” my friend asked,
hopping smartly back into her bed and waiting for her brew.
thought it was your turn!”
was until you took over. Not too much
milk in mine, thanks.”
I told you she was wise.