Someone told me recently that it’s a
trait of human nature that we tend to disbelieve something positive about
ourselves but will immediately accept the negative. Try it for yourself – it’s true. If someone tells you that you’re looking
fantastic and they love the clothes you’re wearing, the chances are you’ll say,
“Oh, this old thing, I’ve had it in the wardrobe for ages” and dismiss it
without a second thought. However, if
they say to you, “Are you OK? You look
dreadful this morning!” you might reply, “You know, I am feeling tired, I’ve not been sleeping well,” even though you
felt great when you got up.
Why do we do this? Why are we so bad at accepting the
compliments that would make us feel great for the rest of the day? And it’s not just about clothes, it’s about
work, our relationships, our hobbies – it’s anything that we like to do for ourselves
that makes us feel good. It’s as if we
can’t accept that anyone else could possibly say anything nice without
wondering what their ulterior motive is.
Well, here’s a radical idea – what if there is no ulterior motive? What if someone said you looked nice or you
were good at your job because you actually were? What if someone actually wanted to help you
feel great about yourself because they understood that making you feel good
made them feel good?
I’ve written about the Law of Attraction before and about how you attract what you think about most into your life. You might think compliments about someone
umpteen times a day but never say anything – and why not? Because we seem to be stuck in the belief
that people don’t want to hear nice things about themselves, that’s why. We feel that they would be suspicious of our
praise or wave it away so we might as well not bother. We are trapped in a cycle of not
complimenting in case we are dismissed, and dismissing compliments because they
come so infrequently that we mistrust them.
Silly, really, isn’t it?
Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us and
the shops are already full of cards and gifts that we can give to our sweethearts
to show them that we love them. It’s an
opportunity to make up for all the times that we don’t say the words all year –
but can presents and cards on one day really compensate for all those missed
opportunities? It’s better than nothing,
but I think we can do better than that.
The basis of any religion is love – love
for our partners, children and families of course, but also everyone else
around us. “Love thy neighbour” isn’t
just those living next door but every other human in the world. We don’t have to go round giving them hugs or
making a big deal about it but a simple compliment, even to a stranger, can
make someone’s day and will attract that same energy back to you.
I know I'm late to this but it's a really good point, and very well said. You have a wonderful blog and I like reading your creative adventures and your musings. And no, I have no alterior motive :-P
ReplyDeleteAnd I shall accept it for the compliment it is. Thank you :-) xx
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