Monthly Musing – April 2025 – Playing small
One of the things I really enjoy about the internet is finding out about things and ways of thinking that are new to me, and I have had great fun recently taking part in “challenges” that run over a number of days with the aim of teaching you something new and also introducing you to someone’s course or workshop that you can choose to pay for later if that’s what you want to do.
The most recent one I’ve been listening to has been talking about how we present ourselves and how we often “stay small”, hiding our talents, ambitions and desires so that we don’t attract negative attention from other people. It’s more common than you think, apparently, and I was surprised how many of the examples given rang true for me. It reminded me of the words of Marianne Williamson – I’ve talked about them before on the blog, but I don’t think they lose any of their power over time.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
I wonder why we do this? Why do we worry that someone will try to tear us down rather than expect that someone will lift us up? I see this all the time in the Winwick Mum Facebook groups when someone shows off a project that they have finished: “It’s not perfect but …”, “So many mistakes but …”, “I’m not a very good knitter but …”. The person posting obviously feels proud enough to share a photo of their project, but it’s as if they are expecting negativity and try to take the edge off that by downplaying what they have done before anyone else can. It always makes me feel a little sad, if I’m honest, as I never want anything to take the edge off the pride that I know everyone feels when they finish a pair of socks – or any project that has taken time and skill.
I don’t have an answer; I’ve been reminded that I can play small as much as the next person, but I do wonder why we allow ourselves to hide our shining lights and shrink away as we get older, instead of taking the light we have as children and holding it aloft to burn as brightly as stadium floodlights.
It’s the Winwick Mum Sockalong 10th birthday on Saturday (in case you’ve been hiding under a rock and missed it!), and I really hope that everyone who casts on a pair of socks as part of the celebrations will embrace any mistakes as learning opportunities, and will remember that most people won’t even see the mistakes, they will only see something fabulous created by someone who has taken the time and effort to knit thousands of tiny stitches into a sock shape.
Enough of playing small, it’s time to shine your light!
