Monthly Musing – January 2022 – “When I was your age …”

“When I was your age …”

It’s a conversation I’m having quite a lot with my girls at the moment, and not necessarily in that leaning back, arms folded, “the world was a better place” kind of way.  It’s been more of a trading of experiences, and because there’s quite a big age gap between my girls, there’s even been a bit of it between them too.

It’s been really interesting to watch the way a subject has grown to encompass all three of our experiences – four if my husband is in the conversation and it’s something that he’s experienced too.  It adds colour and dimension to the subject and we’ve all learnt something new.

I love chatting like this with my girls and I’m delighted that they still want to talk to me and I haven’t been relegated to the category of only being grunted at, or told when someone is going out.  It feels like a rare and precious thing, probably because I know that these kinds of conversations with my Mum were a rare and precious thing, given my quicksilver teenage moods!

I think most of all, I am learning to really listen to them and not assume that because I am the adult and have been around longer that I know all the answers and that my experience in the world means I am always right.  There are times when one or other of my girls will say something and I’ll think, “Yes, you’re right, I wish I’d known that then”, or “I should have said that instead of what I did say!” and I wonder who I would have been now if I had done that at the time.  Someone different, perhaps, because we are all the sum of our experiences, but I wouldn’t really want to change who I am now so perhaps it’s as well that I didn’t.

“When I was your age” has become an information resource in our house.  A living encyclopaedia of all of our experiences, some of which haven’t changed too much such as social interactions at school and others which are so vastly different like chatting to a friend at any time of the night or day from a small device in the palm of your hand (and yes, we’ve had words about the “any time of the night” bit!).  And yet, there’s a theme that runs through so many of our conversations which no years have altered.  Kindness, respect, friendship, love, family … no matter what might change on the outside, that part of “when I was your age” remains the same.

I am quite sure that one day in the future, my girls will have similar conversations with their own children and grandchildren and I hope that they appreciate the different perspectives that will be brought to their discussions.  Whatever age we are, the world is the world that we live in and whilst the past might have a rosy glow, the future can be just as bright.