New beginnings
We dropped not so small daughter off at university yesterday.
It was an emotional day – how could it not be? – but it was also a good day as all the build up and the waiting was over, and now we’re all at a new beginning.
Astrid was planning her own new beginning in university digs as well, hiding herself in suitcases and amongst the numerous pot plants that not so small daughter insisted could not be left behind, but she was spotted in time and stayed at home with Hattie and dog. Not so small daughter suggested that she could be a therapy cat and live in her room, but we decided she might not get away with that.
I’ve not much else to tell you this week; today has been about resting and adjusting after all the adrenaline of the move, and I’ve done a lot of knitting, chatted to big daughter who called round after a yoga class and we both chatted via video to not so small daughter who wanted to ask about how much pasta to cook. We left her drinking prosecco with new flatmate friends so at least we knew that she wouldn’t be sitting alone in her room all night and she was in good spirits (ha!) this afternoon. Now I’m making Sunday dinner for my husband and myself.
Life moves on.
Thank you so much to everyone who was kind enough to get in touch after my Monthly Musing post to tell me that life really does move on and it looks OK from the no-children-at-home side of raising a family. There were lots of tears last week, but you helped us to keep perspective and I am grateful.
If you have big (or even not so big) life changes this week, I’m sending you all my love. Different doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, eh? xx
I hope you and your husband enjoy the new found peace and new beginnings. Neither daughter that far away and hopefully your not so small daughter will settle and be as happy as her bigger sister was when she went to University. All the very best wishes! S xx
Thank you! She seems to be settling in well so far, and I hope that continues as the rest of her flatmates move in. No, she’s not that far away and we’re glad of that 🙂 xx
our not no small daughter left for university 14 years ago. we still get frequent phone calls/WhatsApps “is this [chicken/mince/cheese etc] ok to cook? “. and she is living abroad!
Give yourself a big hug, a nice glass of wine and watch a “cosy” show on TV!
I would suggest taking up a new hobby, but we all need you to continue designing and knitting socks 😂
Ha ha, there may be some new sock ideas floating around in my head even now! 🙂 I will definitely take your advice, and I’m glad your not so small daughter still needs you too! 🙂 xx
Oh … thought you might have a couple more weeks. She’s probably gone north of the border then. Hope she has her woolly socks with her. I’m sure she will have a great time. Best wishes to all of you xx
She’s over in Yorkshire – I think they are staggering the moving in dates as there are three universities and so many accommodation blocks that it would be a nightmare if everyone arrived on the same day! She’s got allll the pairs of socks I’ve knitted for her, so she’ll have warm feet at least! 🙂 xx
I know exactly what that’s like even though it’s over 20 years since she went to university. It’s a learning curve for her coping on her own away from mum and dad but also for you without her.
All the best for both you and your husband and also your daughter xx
Thank you! I bet you can remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was 20 years ago. We were talking to big daughter yesterday about when she started university and that’s a long time ago now, although dropping not so small daughter off made her feel as if it were not that long ago at all xx
I feel your challenge with dealing with this huge change in your family dynamics. We too have also been going through these changes over the past few years as our children have moved into adulthood and our youngest moved to the other side of Australia for University. I adopted a second Furchild to absorb my mothering needs (on top of the kids I mother as a teacher). Also My husband and I have been consciously considering who we are and what we are as a couple ow that we don’t have parenting responsibilities, what is it that we want to do going forward together. That is a whole new adventure, whilst fielding the phone calls about shopping for groceries with our not so small son and rescuing our local small, but older daughter when she needs. Life is an adventure where we mourn times passing and embrace change. But take time to reflect.
It sounds like you and your husband have been having similar conversations to me and mine. It’s a strange thing to think about pleasing yourself after a long time looking after a family – I keep thinking that we need to check what the girls are doing before we plan something, but they are doing their own thing now! I think my husband might spontaneously combust if I bring home any more pets – a dog and two daft cats are quite enough!🤣 xx
Be proud in a job well done. Look how confident you’ve made her.
Ah, you’re very kind, thank you! 🙂 xx
When our youngest child left home she moved about 15 miles away so we do still see her regularly. Amazingly, although husband and I were still at home, our washing halved in spite of the fact that she was supposed to do her own washing there still seemed less!! Just think of all the time you will have with one less person to look after.
I noticed when not so small daughter went to Nepal that there was considerably less washing, so that’s definitely got to be a bonus if it’s going to be permanent thing! 🤣 I didn’t go to uni and moved about 15 miles away from my parents; it’s a good distance, I think – not so close that you would necessarily drop in without checking first (on both sides!), but not so far away that you can’t see each other regularly. It worked very well for us! 🙂 xx
It’s a strange feeling when the last one flees the nest. Uni is an exciting time and I know there will be lots of FaceTime calls. I hated each time I took each of my three boys to uni. Two of them to the far north in Lancaster. I’m thinking of you. B x
Ah yes, you’re much further south than me – Lancaster isn’t that far away from us! It is an exciting time and I wouldn’t wish it any other way, but it is peculiar when the 24/7-in-the-house parenting comes to an end! 🙂 xx
It will take some time to adjust and get into a new routine. Just think of all the things you can do now that you couldn’t find time to before. Wishing you all the best. My one and only son has gone back to school and is starting Year 3. A colleague asked me how he was and said well he is in the juniors now. That hadn’t even occurred to me and his school hadn’t even mentioned that. Came as a shock lol! He os 7 so of course he is a junior. Get used to the quiet, keep calm and carry on knitting 😉 xxx
Year 3! That seems like a long time ago for us but it’s a good year, your son will have a great time, I’m sure. And yes, you’re right, I do need to think about the things that I can do now that I couldn’t before … it’s funny, but it feels like such a selfish thing to do at the moment but I’m sure I’ll get over it 🙂 xx
Well done to you and your husband. You have worked hard to make your two daughters capable of being indépendant and have enabled them to work towards them reaching their full potential.
I know it is hard for you but please be proud of your part in their achievements. In an open/understanding home such as theirs, they will always return.
Elaine xx
Thank you so much for your lovely words, they mean a great deal! You are right, it’s just not so easy to see sometimes! 🙂 xx