The other week I had one of those weeks where
if it was going to go wrong, it went wrong.
I couldn’t wait for the week to be over, and said so today during a
phone conversation with one of my best friends.
“Why didn’t you call me?” she
asked. She lives a long way away so
wouldn’t have been able to offer much in the way of practical help, but as she
pointed out, I could have talked to her and that might have made me feel
better. “It might have helped you regain
some perspective and seen that it wasn’t such a bad week after all,” she said,
and she’s absolutely right. There were many
reasons why I didn’t phone her that week, but I think the biggest one was that
I thought I had to sort things out on my own.
Our conversation made me realise that
I’m not always very good at asking for help when things are going wrong. I feel that I should be capable and in
control and able to fix the problem for myself - but sometimes this just isn’t
possible. Sometimes, you need somebody
else to help and what I learnt today during that phone call is that people are
often delighted to be asked for help.
Struggling on denies somebody else the pleasure of doing a good turn,
and Christmas is one time in the year when the stress of planning the holidays
could be alleviated by either doing a good turn yourself or allowing someone
else to do one for you.
There are so many little jobs that could
make someone’s day that bit easier if they were taken off their hands; trips to
the Post Office or even just the post box, helping to put up decorations or
taking in parcels when a neighbour is out to save a long trip to the sorting
office. I wouldn’t hesitate to help
someone out if they asked me and I bet you wouldn’t either, but I also imagine
that like me, you’re not brilliant at asking for help for yourself.
Not a great one for keeping New Year’s
resolutions, I’m going to suggest that we should have a Christmas one
instead. I think we should resolve to
ask for help if we need it, to allow other people to share their expertise and
generosity in our lives, and to be aware that others are just like us and will
struggle on before finally “admitting defeat” and asking for assistance. Acknowledging that you can’t do something on
your own is not an admission of defeat.
It allows others to share in what we are doing and often that makes the
whole experience more enjoyable. They
can see that that we’re not perfect, not always in control and capable and
instead of turning them away, it draws them closer. You are giving them the gift of being able to
give something to you, and that’s what I think Christmas spirit is all about.
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