Monthly Musing – February 2026 – Bonding

I’ve got a day to myself today as my husband has gone to visit not so small daughter in her university city.  I waved him off at the station this morning, and in a few hours, he’ll be living the student life as I’m pretty certain that the two of them have an agenda of cheap pints and lots of chat for the rest of the day.

I love to see the two of them getting on so well together, and I don’t feel left out at all.  They’re both coming home together later so I’ll get not so small daughter to myself for a day or two after the weekend as my husband goes back to work.

My husband is someone with a very strong work ethic – too strong sometimes, I worry, as he doesn’t always let himself rest.  He holds his values front and centre, he has a well-developed sense of justice, and he’s a take-no-sh*t kind of person.  He taught me to be braver when I first met him and I see all of his qualities passed on through his girls, not so small daughter in particular.  She’s growing into the kind of person that you want in your corner.  She’s passionate, confident and not afraid to speak up for what’s right.  As you can imagine, they don’t always see eye to eye!

But put them together on a day just like today and they get along famously.  I know that they will laugh more than not, they’ll talk about daft things and serious things, and they’ll both be full of bright energy when they come home.

It doesn’t always work like that for everyone, I know.  Some people don’t have Dads, and some people don’t have the relationships with theirs that our girls have.  We’ve had to work at it; it’s not something that we’ve all just assumed will happen naturally and there have been times when the girls were growing up when it didn’t work as well as it does now.  To be fair, there were times when they didn’t like me very much either and I didn’t always like them, but that’s part of growing up.

My relationship with my Dad got better as I got older.  We were always very alike and even now my husband will comment that I’ve said something that my Dad would say.  We would have big fights when I was teenager, but in later life we got along very well.  There was that odd thing where you always feel like you’re about 14 when you’re with your parents even when you’re grown up with your own family and that never left me, but our relationship developed and grew, and we got to know each other as adults which I will always be grateful for.

Not so small daughter and my husband are developing that relationship now.  He jokes that he still sees her as six years old, but at the same time he sees her as a young woman with firm opinions that he can recognise as many of them are similar to his own.

I think there will be a few beer glasses clinked today.   I think there might even be a slight hangover tomorrow (although I hope not, as not so small daughter is driving them home!) and I know that this visit will have done them both the world of good.  It makes me very happy to see it.